He does not want to commit…

love vs fear

Has this ever happened to you?

You meet a guy and the sparks are clearly there… there’s no denying that he has feelings for you and all signs are pointing to that four letter word — LOVE — but then without warning, he pulls away emotionally. Just because a guy is hesitant it doesn’t mean you should count him out.

Look for these critical clues to find out if he’s in love with you but, wrestling with the commitment side of things.

If you’re unsure what’s going on in his heart, look for these signs that he’s in love with you but is afraid to commit. 

 He tells you that he loves you, but he’s also putting his energy into other things.

A guy who’s ready for long term commitment, and wants to be with someone for the long haul, is going to want to spend a lot of his time with you. He’s going to put a lot of his energy into the relationship.

Another thing to keep in mind is that a younger guy may not be ready to put enough energy into the relationship. It’s not until he hits a mature point and says, “Now I’m looking for something more longer-term.” That’s when guys start to flip the switch and are willing to invest their emotions and time.

 He immerses himself into your life today, but he’s not willing to make future plans.

He might be willing to meet your parents, meet your friends, or even allow you to keep a drawer in his apartment… but at the same time, he might not be willing to make future plans or sacrifices to be with you.

There may certainly be signs that he loves you, but he’s not ready to take the plunge. Men who are commitment focused are going to be more comfortable talking about the future and making future plans.

Of course these things aren’t just black or white. Some guys change, mature and go through transition periods. However, if you’re with a guy who’s absolutely afraid of commitment and showing these signs, then it’s important for you to be disciplined. If he’s not willing to give you love and commitment, then it’s time to look yourself in the mirror, examine your relationship, and be willing to walk away in order to find what makes you happy. At the end of the day, the best thing you can do is be real with yourself and him.